Fcuk my life.

I hate my job.
I hate being fake.
It hate that I have to
wear many masks.
to seem happy
to be positive
when I'm not.
It sucks that I have to hide myself.
I hate people.
My god, I hate my job.



I had a customer yell at me the other day.
And I can't believe the I let her get under my skin.
I was cryin' as soon as she left.


I hate the fact that I was in debt and
I spent money when I didn't have it.
I had creditors breathing down my back.
Yes, I have learned my lesson.
Boys and Girls...
don't spend money if you don't have it.


I hate the fact that I get close to people
and they end up leaving.
I hate the fact that I have to get to know
ANOTHER
therapist because mine is leaving.
This is the 2nd time.

Everyone has a life.
My best friend is far away.
I don't go out.
I can't go out.
I don't drink.

My support...are my pets.

Music and movies keep my mind
from being suicidal.
I hate the fact that whenever I have a emotion
my first thought is to cut.

I hate the fact that I have to
be on medication because of
my thoughts, my past, the blood,
the pain, the razor blade, people.
Oh, the memories of that razor blade on my skin..
The pain it induced...
The blood that poured out...
To be honest...I miss it.

I hate the fact that someone expresses
their true feelings and I push them away.
Feeling uneasy and keeping them at
a distance makes me feel safe.

At times, I like being alone.
I am alone most of the time anyways.